Home

If someone will ask me “Where do you wanna go?”, I will stay silent. For the place i yearn for does not exist. The place that I’m more than willing to search for is nowhere to found, nowhere to be seen, to be heard, nor to be smelled. In the end, I will answer, “Anywhere”. Hoping I could find, at least, an alternative. Yes, I’m desperate enough to go anywhere to fulfill that yearning, doesn’t matter if it’s only a bit.

But, the appropriate question would be.. “Where is the best place to hide?”. Hide from the overwhelming whispers of the ghosts inside me, hide from the shame caused by voices belittling my soul, Hide from the darkness that has been engulfing me for so long, I’m too scared for not seeing anything, I want to hide from the “nothing”.

I want peace, clarity and calm. I want to go to that small light which i saw while being trapped. I faintly hear a soft voice. I want to follow that voice. My body starts to move on its own, I started walking, jogging, running.. run… faster and faster… faster and faster until I see it getting closer.

I stretch my arm like vines crawling to the top of a wall. I run as if wings grew at my back and starting to take flight. Faster… faster and faster, faster and faster until, finally, I went through that light. Tears run down like a waterfall from my eyes that had never seen anything but pitch black until now.

I can hear a strange scream of thunder coming out of my mouth, it’s loud, yet, relieving. I feel comfort from the embrace of the sun who has that soft, loving voice, the one that sounds like a lullaby. I think this is the place I’ve been looking for, this is the place that I call “Home”.